An Apple a Day keeps Mr Cain Away
by TinyAuGoddess
Summary: Cooking lessons with Glitch leaves Cain with more than he bargained for.


"What is the point of this Glitch?" Cain asked as he and DG walked into the spacious kitchen. The dark, dank room was filled with the warmth of pots and pans ablaze. Cooking instruments were strewn across the marble counter tops. Tubs of flour and sugar lay haphazardly, their contents spilling out into large heaps of white.

"Glitch is going to teach us how to cook." DG said carefully. She looked from friend to friend and attempted a large smile. Cain didn't look like he was going to fall for it DG's mouth fell. "The doctors said that until Glitch can be hardwired back to normal," DG ignored the sarcastic grunt that escaped Cain's mouth and continued. "we should try to encourage him to attempt to remember what he did before." She nervously gestured towards two high back kitchen chairs. With a loud groan, Cain ran a hand across his worn face and shrugged his shoulders.

"What the hey, I have a free afternoon. Might as well get a laugh." He sat down on the chair next to DG and crossed his arms tightly. Glitch walked up behind the counter, looking proudly onto his new audience.

"THIS" Glitch rose the red, shiny sphere into the air dramatically, "is an APPLE!"

"I'm out of here." Cain stood up quickly. Dg reached up and grabbed the sleeve of his coat, pulling him back into his seat. "It's a waste of time." He muttered to his friend. "Tell me you don't want to be here."

"Glitch is our friend and we're here to support him." DG crossed her arms and gave Cain a firm look. Cain's serious face lightened a bit as he looked at DG's expression. She could talk him into anything. With a gruff huff he turned back towards Glitch. DG smiled at her win and turned back to Glitch as well. "Please continue." She said sweetly. Glitch nodded and cleared his throat.

"As I was saying: this is an apple. It is red and shiny and very sweet. It can be made into all sorts of yummy item including tarts, cakes and pies. If you cut the apple in half, you get to halves of an apple. . . "

"Is that my beeper?" Cain said looking down onto his hip.

"You don't have a beeper." DG whispered back to him as she smiled at Glitch.

"I have a bullshit beeper and currently it's screaming." He muttered heavily under his breath.

"Go on Glitch." DG said kindly. Glitch bowed his head gratefully, and proceeded to reach for his next ingredient.

"I don't understand why he has to bake something. Could he cook before he had his brain removed?" Cain asked quietly. DG thought for a moment, her eyes slowly closing as she willed a memory to return.

"Come to think of it, I don't ever recall him setting foot inside a kitchen." She said as she cocked her head to the side Cain was about to respond when both of them jumped at the sound of falling pots and pans.

"I'M ALL RIGHT!" Glitch called out. Cain turned slowly towards DG as her eye brow furrowed in thought.

"You know, I don't think it matters what he did before the brain-nap, all that matters is that we encourage and love him on this new path."

"Does this new path include burning down the palace?" Cain winced as he heard Glitch scream. DG jumped up and ran over to Glitch, who's face was covered by two flour covered hands.

"I'm ok. Go, go, sit down. I'm about ready to start." Glitch swatted her away with a free hand. "I didn't need both eyebrows anyway." DG sighed and turned to walk back towards Cain. He had his 'I told you so' face lit up and DG knew one day he'd need a patent for it. She sat down on the kitchen chair slowly, awaiting the need to spring up out of it again.

"Ok. So you take two. . . ok, one egg." Glitch said as he kicked a broken egg under a rug. "One egg." He held it up. He gently cracked it into the flour, watching it slide down the white peak slowly. He spun around and nocked the bowl onto the floor, instantly shattering the delicate object. DG groaned and put her face in her hands. Cain looked smugly down at his watch, knowing full well he was right.

"You know what?" Glitch asked. "I don't need to show you how to make one. How about you just try it!" He pulled a pie out from under the counter and sat it on a clear space. DG and Cain stood up and walked over to the pie slowly. Glitch happily dug a knife into the golden brown crust and scooped out a large piece. He placed it on a blue plate and handed it over to Cain.

"What is this?" Cain looked down onto the perfect piece of apple pie.

"It's a piece of pie." Glitch said matter-of-factly, as if Cain had been the one to lose his brain. "Eat it." Cain looked at the piece warily.

"And you made it?" He asked.

"Mmm hmmm." Glitch nodded with a large grin. Cain gulped as he looked around at the mess Glitch had made. Egg shells lay in batter, clumps of sugar sat hardening in what looked like a grey substance. Cain jammed his fork down into what he knew would be his last meal and brought it slowly up to his mouth. He closed his eyes tightly and slid the fork into his mouth. DG and Glitch watched in silence, their breaths held, as he chewed the dessert carefully.

"Wow," Cain said as he opened his eyes. "That is the best pie I have ever eaten." After a few bites Cain sat his plate down on the counter, a content smile plastered on his handsome face. He patted Glitch on the back.

"That was by far the best apple pie I have ever had." Glitch gleamed with pride. "If you'll excuse me, I have to be somewhere for the queen." He looked down at the plate and chuckled quietly to himself. He pointed to the pie and shook his head. "Who knew?" he muttered to himself as he left the kitchen.

After Cain left the room the duo turned to each other. With a wicked smile, DG pulled out a bakery box and placed the remaining pie back in for safe keeping. Nothing like a good fooling to lighten the day.

"You know, he's going to find out. He always does." Glitch said sadly as he untied his apron. He sat the polka dot garment on the counter and sat his elbow down next to it, setting his chin on his hand. "And when he does . . . " He trailed off quietly with a shake of his head.

"Well, we'll have to make sure it doesn't." DG brushed her hands together and nodded firmly. Glitch reluctantly nodded and reached for a silver fork. He stabbed the metallic instrument through the crisp outer shell and into the sticky, gooey center. He scooped out a decent size portion and thrust the concoction into his mouth. With a satisfied sigh he smiled.

"Raw's mother makes a mean pie." He said through his mouthful of joy.


End file.
